New V70 D5 seriously flawed - where to go from here?

[RGC]

Does exactly what a remap does without things like increased torque and bhp and better mpg... One of those throttle thingies plus a DTi tuning box would be ok, totalling about 300 quid... How much is a remap these days?

I've been told about 5 or 600 for a Polestar or Rica stage 1.

[RGC]

Well well....had quite a day of investigation when should have been working
Spoke to a Rica agent who has stopped installing them because its so hard to get past security, described lack of responsiveness and he mentioned the going into neutral or idling when decelerating like some of you have soooooo...........

Spoke to Premier Transmissions about the possibility of the box going into neutral, thus being slow to pull away, but he ruled this out as the engine is not even revving when foot is down. So it's a response/torque thing so................

Thought I'd have another bash at finding a Polestar remap (after my local dealership saying there wasn't one for my year) so spoke to another main dealer who said YES there was one for my year and it should sort out the responsiveness, but only gain 20bhp for the princely sum of £650. Wasn't really sure that they were sure it would sort the acceleration thing so ............................

Thought I'd speak to Hamish at HLM...described the lack of acceleration thingy and he said 'aaaahhh the dead zone!', he knew all about it and said there was one XC90 in particular which was really badly affected by it. He also said 'no probs come over and I'll give you 215bhp which will sort your responsiveness thing and go like *%*! off a stick'...or words to that effect, and it'll cost you £250!!!

Looks like its a trip to Bromsgrove then ....anyone else on here been to Hamish?

[M-R-P]

Haha, that sounds like Hamish. He's an entertaining lil fella.
He likes a good rant and is willing to explain the ins and outs of a cat's arse if you're interested.
Had mine mapped there last year and I'm more than happy with it.

[V70 Graham]

Looks like its a trip to Bromsgrove then....anyone else on here been to Hamish?

Hamish is one of those guy's who people either love or hate, tbh I find him knowledgeable and entertaining, he did ok with M-R-P's ex-plod a while back I'm sure he'll be on to tell you all about it.

[V70 Graham]

....too late again !

[M-R-P]

[RGC]

Hamish is one of those guy's who people either love or hate, tbh I find him knowledgeable and entertaining, he did ok with M-R-P's ex-plod a while back I'm sure he'll be on to tell you all about it.

Yeah he was funny on the phone....I said something like 'been warned against non Volvo remaps as it messes with reading data from vida afterwards' to which he said something like 'tell me about the tooth fairy then, or santa'. Wasn't sure what to make of that at first but was quite funny, then he started to talk about his work and I got the impression he knew his stuff.
So he comes on this forum....whats his moniker?

[merc85]

Ive heard of those pedal commander's too, and they are supposed to work ie take out same of the delay. There is also a small delay with the Merc if i Kick down to "wot"

[M-R-P]

Yeah he was funny on the phone....I said something like 'been warned against non Volvo remaps as it messes with reading data from vida afterwards' to which he said something like 'tell me about the tooth fairy then, or santa'. Wasn't sure what to make of that at first but was quite funny, then he started to talk about his work and I got the impression he knew his stuff.
So he comes on this forum....whats his moniker?

I think he's posted once in about 2 years. I think he got fed up with people picking arguments with him. He lurks about in stealth mode but doesn't post a lot.
A lot of members here use HLM a lot for larger/better/faster projects than mine and have plenty of time for the guy.
However, a collaboration with another ex-member resulted in some bad press 7-odd years ago (which I'm sure you'll hear about in due course) and it still gets dragged up from time to time. Thing is, look into the history of any tuner and you'll find horror stories.

[RGC]

Cheers MRP.
TBH he's been recommended by a few people so I'm resolved to go there. It's just I've been warned off of non Volvo remaps a bit too and there are no written guarantees with HLMs work so I'm always looking for background on the prospect.
For sure everyone has bad experiences and you can go mad agonising and reading reviews like I do on amazon before buying something. For my own business I have loads of good google reviews but I know just one bad one can be enough to put people off. Will write up what happens when I do go there in the next week or 2.

[Wobbly Dave]

I've been using HLM so much over the last 10 years I now get discounted abuse. He's remapped pretty much every car I've owned. I've been using his diesel remap on my S40 R-Design (2008) 2 litre french unit for the last 3 years and very nice it is too.

Am I allowed to get out my workboot eating Hamish video yet?

I know that Hamish is currently working with 2 BTCC teams - if that is endorsement enough - and we have a RR meeting at HLM in the autumn

[claymore]

But to put across another opinion, I wouldn't let him near my car , ask him about water injection

[Wobbly Dave]

WI doesn't work. (Popcorn time)

[V70 Graham]

I've been using HLM so much over the last 10 years I now get discounted abuse. He's remapped pretty much every car I've owned. I've been using his diesel remap on my S40 R-Design (2008) 2 litre french unit for the last 3 years and very nice it is too.

Am I allowed to get out my workboot eating Hamish video yet?

I know that Hamish is currently working with 2 BTCC teams - if that is endorsement enough - and we have a RR meeting at HLM in the autumn

But to put across another opinion, I wouldn't let him near my car , ask him about water injection

Told you, love him or hate him lol

[claymore]

I see a thread derailment any minute now.....lol

[Wobbly Dave]

LMAO! Just wait until Mr. Greenfield jumps in! Hamish has divided opinion so thoroughly that you could argue they set up an entire forum dedicated to the subject?

[M-R-P]

The way to look at it is - it'll be an off the shelf map...


what's the worst that can happen...

[Blackdog]

And rememder the map can always be removed if needed.....

Mine has been main stealer serviced twice now to no ill effect.

All you do is tell them no software updates.

It has also had warranty work done as well that did include software work on the infotainment system.

No questions were asked.

[smithy]

I've been to hlm for years too no probs here and I had a rica map on my v70 2.5t by them and that thing used to fly .

[RGC]

This is all great reassurance guys thank you. I've had a bit of a mare driving phase 2 1998 - 9 2.5 autos and 2.4 turbos with engines being replaced ABS and ETS problems, eeurgghh - enough! So I went for broke in paying for this D5 in cash and am blown away with it - except for this lag thing.
As a wounded Volvo owner I'm really grateful of your encouragement, Im praying that this remap can make my switch to a 'proper' modern Volvo free of negatives, as I love everything else about this car and the lag is its only detractor.
If this works a new set of Canicula alloys, window tints, spoiler, all the cargo nets and mobile iphone cradle will follow!
The wanting never stops!