Another year of worry free motoring

**The Flying Moose** · Monday 6th June 2011, 16:36

Well the battle bus passed its MOT today with only a few things worth mensioning. Advised on the O/S track rod end and rear pads other than that sailed through.

Just wanted to say thanks to smithness for sorting it all out for me and looking after the car whilst I have been in the Falklands, a true friend.

**martybelfastt5** · Monday 6th June 2011, 16:40

one less worry,,lol

**Porcine_Aviator** · Monday 6th June 2011, 17:56

You're back then ?

**The Flying Moose** · Monday 6th June 2011, 18:23

Originally Posted by Porcine_Aviator

You're back then ?

No unfortunately not, I have 10 days left on planet zog!

Smithness kindly ran the car through the MOT for me.

**Niles** · Tuesday 7th June 2011, 09:14

well done. always useful to have good friends.

**Porcine_Aviator** · Tuesday 7th June 2011, 09:44

Originally Posted by The Flying Moose

No unfortunately not, I have 10 days left on planet zog!

Smithness kindly ran the car through the MOT for me.

10 days and you haven't posted a picture of a single penguin

Smithness one of the real friends from VPCUK

**The Flying Moose** · Tuesday 7th June 2011, 12:23

Originally Posted by Porcine_Aviator

10 days and you haven't posted a picture of a single penguin

Smithness one of the real friends from VPCUK

Believe it or not itsw actually too cold for Penguins now and they have all migrated further north, saw a few in February when I first arrived but none since!

**JelT5** · Tuesday 7th June 2011, 12:50

Nice one Smithness

Always seems to be help available for one and all on VPC.

**Flatout Phil** · Tuesday 7th June 2011, 12:56

9 days left Emlyn! Don't forget to bring a stick of rock

A farmer buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool, chops,
etc... After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting
pregnant and phones a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he
should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest
idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only
asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet
tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down
in the grass and roll around when they are pregnant.

The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the
conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate
the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the
woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are
all still standing around, he concludes that the first try did not take and
loads them into the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs
each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One
more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them
out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon
returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at
the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying
in the grass. "No", she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is
honking the horn."

**Porcine_Aviator** · Tuesday 7th June 2011, 13:32

What more can I say

**The Flying Moose** · Tuesday 7th June 2011, 13:39

Originally Posted by Flatout Phil

9 days left Emlyn! Don't forget to bring a stick of rock

A farmer buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool, chops,
etc... After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting
pregnant and phones a vet for help. The vet tells the farmer that he
should try artificial insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest
idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only
asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet
tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down
in the grass and roll around when they are pregnant.

The farmer hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the
conclusion that artificial insemination means that he has to impregnate
the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the
woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are
all still standing around, he concludes that the first try did not take and
loads them into the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs
each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One
more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them
out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon
returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at
the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying
in the grass. "No", she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is
honking the horn."

Absolute class Phil, had me chuckling