It's that time again an MOT for Christine

[Porcine_Aviator]

Mrs PA got home last night and during the evening she said there's something I must do but I can't remember what. Now you know what you do if you're married, you try and come up with some suggestions as to what it might be. But of late my memory is like a sieve, I mean yesterday I couldn't remember how old Mrs PA was when I went to buy the tickets for the railway. :)

Anyway we went off to bed, Mrs PA still trying to remember what it was and thinking that it was something important that had to be done.

Yesterday when we arrived at The Gartell Railway, Martin noticed that we were short of a dipped beam. Which both he and Judgeninja tried to sort out, but as Christine is a bitch they couldn't do a quick fix on her, thanks for trying guys it was appreciated. It was also noticed that she was in need of a new nearside tyre.

So this morning I said to Mrs PA why not run her down to Formula 1st and get a tyre and ask them to change the oil and do the bulbs all at once. It was then that her eyes lit up and she said "That's what it was, an MOT for Christine". :slap::( Sod it where was the old MOT when was she due to have the next one ? Hell why is it always a rush to find documents? I phoned Formula 1st and she's booked in for 4pm tomorrow.

I know she needs two bulbs and at least one tyre, what's the betting she will need more than that to get through. I can see that sheet of paper with FAIL on it already :(

With the amount of money we have spent on her since we first bought her we could have bought six 850 T5s and had them all re-mapped, re-sprayed and re-furbished and still have money over for a nice holiday on Route 66.

So it's off for an MOT tomorrow and yet more money out of the bank.

[M-R-P]

It's a bugger that you were supplied the wrong bulb otherwise we'd have got one bit sorted. The tyre is 50/50 but other than that and a few bits which won't fail the mot, (drippy rad) I think she will be ok.
She sounded fine and didn't smoke. Give her a chance, she might surprise you ;)
Keep us updated mate

[AndysR]

Fingers crossed for tomorrow, I trust the negative approach is to avoid disappointment tomorrow, I am sure she will be fine :)

[Porcine_Aviator]

It's a bugger that you were supplied the wrong bulb otherwise we'd have got one bit sorted. The tyre is 50/50 but other than that and a few bits which won't fail the mot, (drippy rad) I think she will be ok.
She sounded fine and didn't smoke. Give her a chance, she might surprise you ;)
Keep us updated mate

She killed your reader :)


Fingers crossed for tomorrow, I trust the negative approach is to avoid disappointment tomorrow, I am sure she will be fine :)

It's the best way to look at her, if I say good things she only comes back and bites me in the bum :) Mrs PA says "If we are to nice to her, she will probably burn the garage down." :)

[M-R-P]

She killed your reader :)

New batteries fitted and ready to go! Maybe next time ;)

[Porcine_Aviator]

New batteries fitted and ready to go! Maybe next time ;)

OK they have another open day at the end of October LOL

[M-R-P]

OK they have another open day at the end of October LOL

You gotta get her through today yet! lol I recon she'll be fine ;)

[Porcine_Aviator]

OK she FAILED Tyres passed but she had three bulbs out which was the good news. Then came the front off side shock, shot, so needs a new one £185 to replace it. Then two rear anti roll bar linkages on the rear suspension need to be replaced. The ABS light has taken to coming on, but Mrs PA pointed out that this was a fault of the instrument cluster. There are a little things that they are going to fix no charge and then it's an oil change.

The total will be around £350 at the end of the day.

Then we have the leak in the rad to put right and the instrument cluster to get fixed.

[volvo]

hi P.A, what model does the mrs drive?

[AndysR]

Sounds ok, and pretty much what you expected wasn't it?

[Porcine_Aviator]

hi P.A, what model does the mrs drive?
At the moment she's driving Christine the V70 P2 T5 she would rather drive our 855 T5 less trouble more fun.

Sounds ok, and pretty much what you expected wasn't it?

Well we knew it was going to cost something but as per normal she seems to be costing us an arm and a leg :(

[volvo]

mr P.A....if i can help with any cheap bits i would be happy to...only thing is, you need an MOT and im breaking a v70 1997 NEXT week.....

[Porcine_Aviator]

mr P.A....if i can help with any cheap bits i would be happy to...only thing is, you need an MOT and im breaking a v70 1997 NEXT week.....

Hi Volvo, thanks for the offer but Christine is a V70 T5 P2 2000 she is a real mixture but most parts are P2 and not P1 shame really :(

[volvo]

oh ok....sorry i cant help ya. hope you get it sorted for less than yhe quuote you have....always good to get in some cheaper parts!

[M-R-P]

Hi Chris/Jean Sorry it took me a while to find out how christine got on, Brian just been diagnosed with croup and we just got back from hospital. He's all sorted and in bed now.
For what needs doing, the £350 really isn't that bad, I could have done the shock pretty easy (gotta do mine soon) rear linkages, could probably be polybushed pretty cheap (I wouldn't know how but probably wouldn't be too hard) And although the instrument cluster is suspect, get somebody to wiggle the connections along the abs system, it's probably a dodgy connection somewhere.
I think she let you off lightly this time ;) next time you're heading down this way, give me a shout and I have a look at whatever you don't get done for the MOT.
Glad it's not too bad mate and don't panic about the instrument cluster till you loose the info screen or you get the fruit machine jackpot simulator ;)

[Mrs_PA]

Hey Martin, hope your little one is better soon.

The front shock was so bad, there was no fluid in there at all - it was completely dry.

[M-R-P]

Hey Martin, hope your little one is better soon.

Thanks Jean, He's a tough little boot, he's been through this before and we caught it early so he'll be fine in the morning.
And don't worry about christine, it's a small price to pay to keep a good car on the road for another year. Just keep an eye on that gearbox of yours!
Like I said, next time you're down this way...

[Porcine_Aviator]

Mrs PA has just dropped Christine off to have the work done.

[M-R-P]

Fingers crossed...

[volvo]

it'll aaaallll be over soon!

[Porcine_Aviator]

Did you know the MOT is changing again on 1st Jan 2012 ?

Just found the following on VOC posted by Luxobarge so a tip of the hat to them.


"Steering lock operation - Steering locks not engaging when the ignition key is removed will fail.
Engine warning lamps, brake fluid warning lamps, ESP lamps, EPB lamps illumination - ANY of the above illuminated indicating a fault will fail.TPMS (Tyre pressure monitoring systems) warning lamps - Again, if illuminated indicating a fault, will fail.Airbag/SRS lamp illumination - If this warning lamp is illuminated it will fail.
HID Headlamps - Now, a little grey area here. They will be included in the new test, and will fail if they prove to be outside of the specified conditions... but the conditions and reasons for rejections haven't been written/decided yet, so sit tight.
Wiring - Any wiring (loomed or otherwise) that is damaged, or fitted in such a way that could cause damage to said wiring, or other systems will fail.
Engine mountings - Engine mountings will be a part of the test. incorrect mounting, corrosion in a prescribed area etc will fail.
PAS (Power assisted steering) fluid level will be tested.
Rear doors must open in the new test. Previously (and currently), if the tester feels he can access the testable items in the rear (seatbelts, prescribed areas etc) without needing the doors open, they don't need to open. This will now be a failure.
13 pin towbar sockets - tested for correct operation using a plug in testing tool.
Inappropriate modifications or repairs - The wording on this is quite vague at the moment, but if a major component has been modified, and that modification/repair makes the vehicle dangerous or seriously weakens the original component, expect it to fail.
ANY ball joint dust cover - The small rubber boots over ball joints must be intact and free or splits, tears or holes, or it fails.
All CVJ gaiters will be tested - Currently, only the front outer] CVJ gaiters are tested. This new rule extends it to inner and outer, front and rear.
A catalytic converter missing WILL be a reason for failure, regardless of whether or not the emissions limits are met.
Fuel pipe chaffing or damage - Currently they only fail when they are leaking, this rule means that any chaffing or rubbing causing damage will fail.
The braking imbalance limit is lowered to 30% across all axles.
Vehicles built post July 2010 will have to have at least 58% braking efficiency to pass (currently it's 50% for a dual circuit braking system)
Insecure batteries will become a failure
The main beam warning lamp must illuminate with the main beam lamps
All light switches must operate the corresponding lights immediately. No tapping, or wiggling to make it work!"

[p fandango]

"Steering lock operation - Steering locks not engaging when the ignition key is removed will fail.
i'd like to see them test that on classic Saabs (gearlever lock instead of steering). Like the time they tried to fail my old mans 900 because the handbrake wasn't working, he'd got the rollers on the rear wheels lol (handbrake turns weren't much fun in that0

[Porcine_Aviator]

i'd like to see them test that on classic Saabs (gearlever lock instead of steering).

Funny you should say that because other people have said the same.

[RANT START]

These are new stupid EU laws that they want to force in across the whole of Europe. It's a way to force cars off the road that they think are to old, to put money into the pockets of car companies, trying to do anything to a car with a brain is a knightmare. Soon it will be illegal to change the oil at home, the same as Germany, you have to go to a special station.

The cretins in Brussels also want to change our road signs, speed limits, drink laws and a whole raft of other things.

And what will our goverment do ?

Bend over and take it and say thank you Mr Barosso more of the same please.

I have a long memory when it come to people lying to me, Ted Heath did it when he said

"There is no question of eroding any national sovereignty; there is no blueprint for a federal Europe. There are some in this country who fear that in going into Europe, we shall in some way sacrifice independence and sovereignty. these fears I need hardly say are completely unjustified"

And then there was Jack Straw who said


"There is a date for the referendum. It has to take place sometime before the end of 2006,"
that was on 21st June 2004.

Yet we get more and more lies, and more and more of our hard earned cash flows into the EU!!! We were stuffed from the moment we were taken into the Common Market without a vote.

:icon_soap:firedevil

[p fandango]

The cretins in Brussels also want to change our road signs, speed limits, drink laws and a whole raft of other things.
hasn't europe got a higher drink drive limit than us, ie you can have a higher blood/alcohol count before its an offence

[M-R-P]

hasn't europe got a higher drink drive limit than us, ie you can have a higher blood/alcohol count before its an offence

Some bits of Europe, I think Spain is lower but not 100%, It was when I went there in 1998.

[Porcine_Aviator]

She is still in having her MOT, I told you she's a cow. The rear fog will not work and they can't issue an MOT until it does. So they are getting an auto electrician in in the morning. They have been trying for two hours this afternoon but nothing seems to work.

Mutter mutter grumble spit spit bloody car.

[Porcine_Aviator]

hasn't europe got a higher drink drive limit than us, ie you can have a higher blood/alcohol count before its an offence

They are just starting trials in Northern Ireland where they are cutting the amount by a half :(

[Porcine_Aviator]

The garage has called and said that it's a relay that's failed in the back so the rear fog won't work. And as per normal the local Volvo people don't have one so it's on order for tomorrow. So Christine is having another nights B&B with them. I can hear the bill getting larger as I type :(

Nothing is simple where Christine is concerned.

[p fandango]

The garage has called and said that it's a relay that's failed in the back so the rear fog won't work. And as per normal the local Volvo people don't have one so it's on order for tomorrow. So Christine is having another nights B&B with them. I can hear the bill getting larger as I type :(

Nothing is simple where Christine is concerned.
a normal £2 4pin relay should be able to do the job, i bet it'll even fit in the Volvo holder

[M-R-P]

The garage has called and said that it's a relay that's failed in the back so the rear fog won't work. And as per normal the local Volvo people don't have one so it's on order for tomorrow. So Christine is having another nights B&B with them. I can hear the bill getting larger as I type :(

Nothing is simple where Christine is concerned.

D'oh! :(

[Porcine_Aviator]

a normal £2 4pin relay should be able to do the job, i bet it'll even fit in the Volvo holder

They did check but it's a no go. Christine is a non-standard V70 P2, parts won't fit that should, and parts that do fail before they should. Dash cluster could be on the way out, and as Martin will tell you this is an arm and a leg to put a new one in. When Volvo/Ford went for the standardisation of the range ie: chassis, wiring and running gear, they didn't do it in one go, it was done piecemeal on the V70, some parts came in from other manufacturers and were slapped on as a quick fix.

The old Volvo quality seemed to go down the drain, the Geartronic box was one thing that failed over and over as we can attest to, three to date, the Magnetti Marrelli ETM, which was so badly designed it could do nothing but fail after a few years use, that why Volvo now fit Bosch units badged Volvo.

And a range of other things that seem to go with alarming regularity.

The trouble is once you put money into a car you want to get something back to show for it.

[M-R-P]

They did check but it's a no go. Christine is a non-standard V70 P2, parts won't fit that should, and parts that do fail before they should. Dash cluster could be on the way out, and as Martin will tell you this is an arm and a leg to put a new one in. When Volvo/Ford went for the standardisation of the range ie: chassis, wiring and running gear, they didn't do it in one go, it was done piecemeal on the V70, some parts came in from other manufacturers and were slapped on as a quick fix.

The old Volvo quality seemed to go down the drain, the Geartronic box was one thing that failed over and over as we can attest to, three to date, the Magnetti Marrelli ETM, which was so badly designed it could do nothing but fail after a few years use, that why Volvo now fit Bosch units badged Volvo.

And a range of other things that seem to go with alarming regularity.

The trouble is once you put money into a car you want to get something back to show for it.

Amen to that, Don't worry about tour DIM just yet, as I said, it may actually be an abs sensor or something playing up. If The dim does play up properly, getting the DIM resoldered is well worth the £30 punt before spending £700+ on a replacement.
When a car owes you so much money, it's hard to draw the line and say "no more" and get rid. But in your case, she'll probably be sat on your driveway the morning after you sell her - in a puddle of her own fluids! ;)

http://i1100.photobucket.com/albums/g413/martinrpeachey/christine02.jpg

[Porcine_Aviator]

Amen to that,
When a car owes you so much money, it's hard to draw the line and say "no more" and get rid. But in your case, she'll probably be sat on your driveway the morning after you sell her - in a puddle of her own fluids! ;)


I used to ave that as an avatar on here a few years ago :lol:

[Mrs_PA]

I found some very nice replacement clocks in a fetching shade of blue, but the postage seems a tad high.:yikes:

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/DASHBOARD-CLOCKS-VOLVO-S60R-V70R-BLUE-/250879275714?pt=UK_CarsParts_Vehicles_CarParts_SM&hash=item3a6991f2c2#ht_1386wt_698

[M-R-P]

Although you could probably change the faces and dials around quite easily, it's the PCB which is coded to the car (trust me, I tried 7) And the 2004 models were plug n play so no good on both counts. Think the postage is indeed a little pricey lol:)

[Porcine_Aviator]

She's back and the bill is £408.85 the N/S/F shock was £157.40 - N & O/R Anti Roll Bar Link Arm £85, an Auto Electrician to find the problem with the rear fog £41.67 and an MOT.

The cow had better keep going for another 12 months or it's down the scrapyard :cussing:

[Porcine_Aviator]

Here we go again it's MOT time and once again the garage has phoned to say that various things are wrong. It's failed on a ball joint, steering rack, anti-roll bar (fixed just a year ago and again this May), brake pipes (they could need doing) and rear shocks (two new ones were fitted in Jan 2009 a year previously it had both near and offside rear rubber bushes), handbrake comes all the way up (we had had an advisory on that going back four years and nothing has changed, it still pulls up to the same point.) and ABS warning light (spurious, fault in dashboard circuit board).

So it looks like she's going to cost us a mint yet again. What gets me is all this is happening on low mileage, couple of trips to Huddersfield, couple to the Isle of Wight and a few down to Devon. No high miles and no thrashing it at all, so we can't understand where the rear shocks, anti roll bar etc can have worn. The steering rack has had an advisory on it since 2008 so that one we can understand.:scared::scared:

Just looked up the mileage from when the rear shocks were fitted until today and it's 16500 miles, and new shocks should last 50,000 miles!!!

[Porcine_Aviator]

Here you go the whole list

Reason(s) for refusal to issue Certificate

Anti-lock braking system warning lamp indicates an ABS fault (3.4.1c)

Parking brake lever has no reserve travel (3.1.6b)

Nearside Front Anti-roll bar linkage has excessive play in a ball joint (2.4.G.2)

Nearside Rear Anti-roll bar has excessive play in a pin/bush (2.4.G.2)

Offside Rear Anti-roll bar has excessive play in a pin/bush (2.4.G.2)

Offside Front Suspension arm ball joint dust cover excessively damaged so that it no longer prevents the ingress of dirt (2.4.G.2)

Offside Front Steering arm has relative movement at its fixings (2.2.B.1h)

Nearside Front Steering arm has relative movement at its fixings (2.2.B.1h)

Nearside Front Brake hose excessively deteriorated (3.6.B.4d)

Offside Front Brake hose excessively deteriorated (3.6.B.4d)

Advisory Notice issued

Nearside Front Shock absorber has a light misting of oil (2.7.3)

Offside Front Tyre worn close to the legal limit (4.1.E.1)

Engine management light on

Traction control light on

Offside front tyre worn on in ner edge

Nail in offside front tyre

Under-trays fitted obscuring some underside components

Fuel filter slightly corroded

[Kingsford G]

Wiv all these new law for mot scrappies gonna be busy as from nex year then.

[M-R-P]

Bloody hell PA, have you had the DIM fixed yet? If so, anybody with dice/vida can sort the abs and engine management warnings. The handbrake can be adjusted in the cabin in 5 minutes with a 10mm spanner. Front roll bar linkage, ball Joint and steering linkage can be sourced pretty cheaply rear anti roll bar may be pricey to have fitted. If someone local is any good at fitting powerflex bushes, you can sort the front wishbones for less than the price of a new one and it'll never fail again.
Brake hoses can be done pretty cheaply too.
It's not as bad as it looks mate.

[Porcine_Aviator]

Bloody hell PA, have you had the DIM fixed yet? If so, anybody with dice/vida can sort the abs and engine management warnings. The handbrake can be adjusted in the cabin in 5 minutes with a 10mm spanner. Front roll bar linkage, ball Joint and steering linkage can be sourced pretty cheaply rear anti roll bar may be pricey to have fitted. If someone local is any good at fitting powerflex bushes, you can sort the front wishbones for less than the price of a new one and it'll never fail again.
Brake hoses can be done pretty cheaply too.
It's not as bad as it looks mate.

We sent the DIM off to the guy off eBay - Lukaz - and he said he could find nothing wrong with it he did solder up a couple of pins but he said that there was nothing he could find, and he didn't charge me for his time. He thinks it could be the CPU and would like to see a print out from the code reader to check through it.

Mrs PA left it at the garage so they can get a quote for us.

She went on the Direct Gov website and we now have details of every MOT Christine has ever had including what she failed on.

[M-R-P]

It'll be the motorolla chip mate, with one or two legs dry-jointed. It's all it takes to send them loopy.
You're probably not gonna be able to clear the abs warning without getting rid of the initial cause.
Good luck with it mate, keep us posted.

[Porcine_Aviator]

It'll be the motorolla chip mate, with one or two legs dry-jointed. It's all it takes to send them loopy.
You're probably not gonna be able to clear the abs warning without getting rid of the initial cause.
Good luck with it mate, keep us posted.

Will do.

[Porcine_Aviator]

The latest news is the cost for all the work is £550 which includes a high speed tyre.

[M-R-P]

For what needs doing, that's pretty good mate. Especially if they can get rid of the abs and engine lights.

[Porcine_Aviator]

To be honest I thought that as well. They are really good and they have looked after both Christine and the motorcaravan without charging a fortune for either.

For anyone in the area who need any work doing these are the people, have a look at what some of the people have said in the feedback even if the last comment was almost a year ago :wave23d:http://www.westonmotcentre.co.uk/

[Porcine_Aviator]

She's home after having the new tyre and the tracking done to finish and a new MOT. One small thing is she now has a rattle when you turn left.

So she's going back in to sort it out.

Just worked it out Christine has cost us roughly £900 so far this year not including fuel.