Apologies to Wizzy VXR man on M2

[Flatout Phil]

Dear Wizzy Meriva VXR Man,
I am really sorry that today you discovered that your pristine VXR with personalised plate was not the performance car your thought it was. I know you caught up with me from time to time when I let you, and you rode my tailgate. You did try terribly hard to keep up. I could see that as you got rapidly smaller in my rear-view mirror each time the road ahead of me cleared. You did check a few times - every few miles - when I took it gently and you caught up. But I kept reminding you, until you understood, that you had wasted your money. So I suppose I do feel a little bit bad that you eventually had to undertake me when traffic built up. The last I saw of you was tailgating an Astra, at least I think it was (I was distracted by The Archers). I am sure you managed to outdrag that.
Ho hum.
Kiss Volvo mate...
Don't half love my R...

[Tomcat]

Lmao!!, ah, poor chap wonder how it feels to know you've been owned by a car that's over 12 years old, Lol...

[t5_carl]

just let the poor VXR driver understeer his way home:D

[Flatout Phil]

Lmao!!, ah, poor chap wonder how it feels to know you've been owned by a car that's over 12 years old, Lol...

I think mine was simply shinier! All down to airflow :B_steerin

[sen]

Ha ha brilliant!!!!

[BruceT]

Add a Prelude 2.2 VTEC to the kill list too... a VOLVO ESTATE? WTF.

[sen]

I had a neck and neck with a played with civic type r last week :haha: untill we started to hit silly figures then it was spat out (on private road of course):cop:

[t5_carl]

turbo tanks are to underrated,feels good:D

[AlanG]

Saying nothing,not after the last time I mentioned enjoying my car. Still maybe the hypocrites that berated me on that occasion have retired to the VOC by now...........:smileypul

[steve954]

I had a neck and neck with a played with civic type r last week :haha: untill we started to hit silly figures then it was spat out (on private road of course):cop:i had a play with a type r to, shame my brakes gave up.:scared:

[Flatout Phil]

Saying nothing,not after the last time I mentioned enjoying my car. Still maybe the hypocrites that berated me on that occasion have retired to the VOC by now...........:smileypul

One does not buy an R (or T5 etc) for the gentle ride, economy, or cheap insurance.

This reminds me, what is this nonsense R-Design on modern Volvos all about? Seems like a shameful homage to the good old days of pre-Ford Volvo. Have good chats from time to time with the parts dept at the local dealer who lament the good old days when Volvo was Volvo, men were men, and Rs were Rs!

[Storm-Troll]

seems several of us have had a play wiv the type R.... i had one too about a year ago and a Merc.. dont know what the merc was but he kept up with the R.. then he left he R standing and i whooped past the R and kept up no prob with the Merc till we parted company and went our seperate ways.. lol.. poor type R drivers just dont have much luck do they.... lol

[AlanG]

One does not buy an R (or T5 etc) for the gentle ride, economy, or cheap insurance.

This reminds me, what is this nonsense R-Design on modern Volvos all about? Seems like a shameful homage to the good old days of pre-Ford Volvo. Have good chats from time to time with the parts dept at the local dealer who lament the good old days when Volvo was Volvo, men were men, and Rs were Rs!

Exactly mate and well put. Some months ago I posted a thread on here,didn't mention speed and was shot from every angle. A well sorted T5 is right up there with the best of them. Had some encounters with some respectable cars and never lost out yet. They include the latest model S3,TTRS (2.0 model 272bhp),a couple of earlier TTs, Merc CLK 320 which was no competition. Fiesta ST,Civic Type Rs and numerous so-called high performance diesels.
I'm no boy racer and this covers quite a long time scale. Just sometimes these jokers need to be shown. Have let many an opportunity pass because I couldn't be bothered but sometimes they need to be shown.

[walter leever]

Well i think we all have our"weak" moments,at least i do,just can't help it:bounce:

[Tomcat]

I must admit that I like to play like everyone else does, trouble is I bottle it more easily than I used to, I have my livelyhood to loose if I get done for racing.

[Flatout Phil]

There is a time and a place for everything. The truth is, UK roads do not offer the opportunities to truly exploit the potential of our cars - and the glory days are fading into the past. Give it another five years and we won't be able to fart without paying for the priviledge in this place. So enjoy it whilst you can - and that includes farting.
We need to be judicious - ignored the teasings of an Impreza WRX this afternoon: he was driving roads I did not know, he was taking BIG risks as the traffic was busy and as far as I could see, was not a place to be doing that kind of thng. I was not interested - although flattered he thought I might be bothered!
I prefer nothing more than an empty, wide motorway on a clear day with no other cars in sight - and maybe not in the UK at all.

[AlanG]

Even better.........2AM on a stretch of empty motorway where the traffic taliban have nowhere to hide. A stretch that is familiar and with perfect driving conditions. That's when I found out what a mapped T5 was capable of. Forgot to say.........A large dose of insomnia is req'd. No racing involved,just a real sense of adrenalin.

[Tomcat]

I like the trip to work first thing in a morning, say around 5-6am the roads are pretty damn empty..

[Pliskin]

No we haven't all retired to VOC, there is a vast difference between giving your car a bit of a squirt on a clear road and "enjoying it's performance", as opposed to racing with a car on a public highway, where in an attempt to, " show them how they have wasted their money", you push the car and your abilities a bit too far, with foreseeable results.

I've said it before, if you think you are good enough, get yourself a competition license, they aren't that dear and do it properly!

People's driving standards today are bad enough without @ickheads trying to "prove" things to people they have never "met" and will probably never "meet" again.

[walter leever]

There is a time and a place for everything. The truth is, UK roads do not offer the opportunities to truly exploit the potential of our cars - and the glory days are fading into the past. Give it another five years and we won't be able to fart without paying for the priviledge in this place. So enjoy it whilst you can - and that includes farting.
We need to be judicious - ignored the teasings of an Impreza WRX this afternoon: he was driving roads I did not know, he was taking BIG risks as the traffic was busy and as far as I could see, was not a place to be doing that kind of thng. I was not interested - although flattered he thought I might be bothered!
I prefer nothing more than an empty, wide motorway on a clear day with no other cars in sight - and maybe not in the UK at all.

You're quite right there bro(ooops i just farted):funkybana

[The Flying Banana]

It must have been a Subaru thing today, sitting side of a road pulling out, traffic at my side at a standstill at lights, couldnt pull fully out because the car in front just wasnt far enough forward but as soon as lights changed i would be good to go .......oh no , Subaru pulls up and out slightly to get round me and hem me in ! As we were still sitting i asked the bloke why he done that and wouldnt let me out, he said because i had a ****ty yellow old mans car which no doubt I thought was fast!!! Anyway, I had the last laugh, unknown to him i had just come the road we were heading and i had seen the speed trap just around the corner from the straight as it goes towards a village, soon as we were on it I pulled up quick behind him, obviously he took off, i stayed there to last min and hit the anchors before the bend , he didnt scrub enough off !! Poor chap, Subaru might not be so cheap at renewal time lol!!

[Tomcat]

Lol, silly boy, fancy calling it an old mans car......Foooooll!!


Did you wave when you went past?..

[The Flying Banana]

It was a scamera van, Subaru was one of those P1s, so no way the Banana was going to stay with it and all I had to do was accelerate hard in a couple of gears and he was off!! he just kept going, i laughed to myself as i seen him hare round the corner !!!

[Flatout Phil]

You're quite right there bro(ooops i just farted):funkybana

I hope you enjoyed the experience!:fart:

[walter leever]

It was a scamera van, Subaru was one of those P1s, so no way the Banana was going to stay with it and all I had to do was accelerate hard in a couple of gears and he was off!! he just kept going, i laughed to myself as i seen him hare round the corner !!!

That should give him a nice close-up of his soeb.:lol:

Oh and phil my dogs are suspisiously silent now,i think they're passed out:dgrin:

[volvolised]

Saying nothing,not after the last time I mentioned enjoying my car. Still maybe the hypocrites that berated me on that occasion have retired to the VOC by now...........:smileypul

Hey alan,
do remember that post but still reckon your wording was not quite so subtle....hope your still enjoying the car:B_thumb:..as it goes i can say that i have a fast modded T5 which i love to out gun motors with.....most recently a TVR cerbera (he even pulled alongside for a chat),( bloody nice bloke), and lastly a standard evo 8 which on a 'rolling' start there was nothing in it until i hit 5K in fourth then into 5th and get a reasonable pull away...thing is what i've spent on mods i could have had either of those cars .....but i like most of you love the T5 ...

[The Flying Banana]

Strangely tho as the Subaru really took off I actually said to myself that i quite fancy a one of those, the 2 door ones maybe a bit pricey but a sorted 4 door would do but so much to look into with Subarus, all different, imports, STis, WRXs, what BHP do they run etc, maybe do a bit of research :)

[Tomcat]

Subapoo's sound fantastic, the trouble is, once you get past the looks and the engine noise the interior is crap. It's all plastic and all badly made....

[Johnny5]

Wasnt a blue zafira vxr by anychance was it? P77 VXR????

Hehehe ;)

[Flatout Phil]

Strangely tho as the Subaru really took off I actually said to myself that i quite fancy a one of those, the 2 door ones maybe a bit pricey but a sorted 4 door would do but so much to look into with Subarus, all different, imports, STis, WRXs, what BHP do they run etc, maybe do a bit of research :)

Fast but FUSSY I gather. Miss a service at your peril etc. A tad chavvy too. And nowhere for my VOC cloth-cap or pipe-rack either. So that is a definite no brainer.

[AlanG]

Hey alan,
do remember that post but still reckon your wording was not quite so subtle....hope your still enjoying the car:B_thumb:..as it goes i can say that i have a fast modded T5 which i love to out gun motors with.....most recently a TVR cerbera (he even pulled alongside for a chat),( bloody nice bloke), and lastly a standard evo 8 which on a 'rolling' start there was nothing in it until i hit 5K in fourth then into 5th and get a reasonable pull away...thing is what i've spent on mods i could have had either of those cars .....but i like most of you love the T5 ...

Need to look back through the cobwebs buddy. Pretty sure I didn't incriminate myself. From memory didn't mention speed or which gears I was in when thrashing these pretentious buggers lol.... Anyhow,all in the past. Have seen much worse since on here and noone says a word. Best laugh is that everyone on here streches their T5's legs even if it's only occasionally but some deny it. C'est la vie..

[The Flying Banana]

Subapoo's sound fantastic, the trouble is, once you get past the looks and the engine noise the interior is crap. It's all plastic and all badly made....

Yeah, seen that before, could live with it for the pwer and noise tho, couple of years ago , a guy traded a Mitsubishi FQ400 in, was only a year or so old and i ran about in it for a short while, th edash had allsorts of cradboard wedges stuck in it to stop it creaking etc , on a car that price and not very old i wasnt impressed

[Flatout Phil]

Wasnt a blue zafira vxr by anychance was it? P77 VXR????

Hehehe ;)

It certainly had a VXR plate - thought it was a meriva but maybe zafira, all the same to me. Can't say I really recall the colour though. Pedal to the metal merchant though. Do you know this person before I say something I shouldn't?

[AlanG]

Subapoo's sound fantastic, the trouble is, once you get past the looks and the engine noise the interior is crap. It's all plastic and all badly made....

Remember the the old V4 Ford Transits? Yeah.....I'm old....Permanent misfire. Same sound as the Urabuses.....Volvo/Audi 5,the only improvement is a V8. My tuppence...

[The Flying Banana]

Ooooohhh V8'S !!!I had a 4.6 Range Rover with modified exhausts about a month ago, the sound was just amazing !!! The noise as it pulled away ...i miss that sound !!

[AlanG]

My second car was a yellow SD1 V8 auto. Was an apprentice mechanic,18 years old and cost me £250. 1 owner,alloys,ft fogs,4 elec windows etc,etc,etc. Reg was WGG 402S and it was a blast. All my mates had 950 Fiestas and the like..........Ahhhhhh memories..

[The Flying Banana]

lol had one of them in yellow too ( JUS 70Y ) with a nice brown leather interior, it was a 3500 SE manual, used to do amazing burn outs !! You can never get bored of a decent burn out lol !

[AlanG]

Yeah mate,had a manual SE in metallic blue aswell. Clunkiest gearbox but a "man's gearbox" if you know what I mean.. Was a Y plate,KNS 6Y. Wish I had kept the plate. Different era....

[Porcine_Aviator]

Even better.........2AM on a stretch of empty motorway where the traffic taliban have nowhere to hide. A stretch that is familiar and with perfect driving conditions. That's when I found out what a mapped T5 was capable of. Forgot to say.........A large dose of insomnia is req'd. No racing involved,just a real sense of adrenalin.

Climbs on to :icon_soap

I had someone say to me that going fast was the cause of accidents as you never know what was going to happen up ahead.

To which I replied, it's not the speed that causes accidents it's things getting in the way.

We all take risks everyday, as soon as we get out of bed, and if you live on a flight path or close to a main road you don't even have to get out of bed. Because you run the risk of a bloody big aircraft paying you a visit in the middle of the night, or a lorry coming through the front of your house.

If you are doing 80mph on a dual carriageway or on a motorway late at night the chances are very small that you will have an accident. If you have been driving a lot and you have loads of experience and a wheel comes off at 80mph the result is just the same as at 70mph or 60mph, with no experience you crash, unless you're someone very special. If someone else's wheel comes off at 80mph they crash and you might hit them. But that can happen at any speed, to any driver no matter how good they are. There's always a chance that something could happen.

You see it in F1, BTCC and Rallying all the time, and I have seen a hell of a lot more low speed crashes over the years than high speed. And I have driven on motorways, A roads, B Roads, country lanes and in both Northern Ireland and the Republic, France, Spain and Greece.

I traveled in Tunisia (scary place to drive), Germany and Belgium and I have seen some of the worst driving imaginable in North Africa. The majority of the crashes were through stupidity where people were trying to pass where they couldn't or were driving to close to the rear end of another car.

I have been in a five car pile up where we had all stopped and the guy behind us didn't react and smashed into us at 60mph, which caused a concertina crash, we were all doing 60mph before the cars ahead came to a stop.

Mrs P.A. was badly injured and will never fully recover, we live with it, because there's nothing that can be done, no cure. We don't dwell on it because that's pointless. This was in Belfast near Short Strand for our NI members.

In another crash I was driving down a hill on a country lane in the rain, lots of mud washing off of the fields on to the road. So I was going at about 20mph, and in case you wonder how I know, I had just looked down at the speedo. I slowed even more as I went around a bend, and this Class 2 12 wheeler wagon came around the corner at speed. The road has banks on either side, so I braked and pulled over to the left, no where to go other than up the bank, the idiot wasn't looking and at the last second swerved and smacked into the wing of the car. I had stopped when he hit me. Low speed, if I had been stupid and had my foot down, I wouldn't be writing this.

Driving to the conditions is the best way to do it, and I did do a Police driving course run by the Dorset Police. If they are running one in your area, I can highly recommend it. They teach you how to drive defensively, and one thing they said at the start of the course was. If the speed limit says 70mph, if it's safe to do so you should be doing that speed, not 55mph to save fuel, not 50mph because you think it's safer. That's what causes accidents. You go to slow people want to get past you and they take chances, if you drive slowly on a road, such as a motorway, and your vehicle is capable of doing 70mph, that's the speed you should be doing.

At this point a woman at the front said " I don't like driving fast, it's not safe, and I use to much fuel". The Police Instructor walked over to her, looked her up and down and said "Madam if you can't drive at the speed limit if it's safe to do so. Then you are a danger, and I would advise you to drive home. Put your car in the garage and never drive again."

She got up and left, I don't know if she gave up driving. I often wonder if she did as she was told, one way or the other :)

Sorry to ramble, but I think that if it's safe and you have a car under you that's safe, then in the right conditions a bit of welly never hurt anyone.

And I've been around Brands Hatch at speed as well, it's what's called a little bit of what you fancy does you good :)

If you drive around worrying about every thing that could happen, then you will land up a nervous wreck and in your coffin at an early age. Looking back I've covered a lot of mileage, I used to drive wagons, shush don't tell anyone I was a White Van Man for a time :cussing:

OK I'll get off the soap box now.

I'm off to bed, been out to the Wilderness Gathering at a Bison Farm in Wiltshire today so I'm a bit whacked, and Mrs P.A. is now the proud owner of a throwing Axe, don't ask.

[AlanG]

Don't think there is any aguing with that. I covered more than 500,000 miles as "white van man" and was never involved in an accident. Saw plenty though. It isn't speed that kills,it's inappropriate speed. Sorry to hear about Mrs PA mate..

[cameron]

The T5, T5R and R and very understated, thats why i love showing the tailgate to loads of rice machines, bmw's, and bigger more expensive cars :D

Long live the Volvo :B_thumb:

[The Flying Banana]

The T5, T5R and R and very understated, thats why i love showing the tailgate to loads of rice machines, bmw's, and bigger more expensive cars :D

Long live the Volvo :B_thumb:

I've never had a Volvo show my BMW the road home yet tho ......

[AlanG]

I've never had a Volvo show my BMW the road home yet tho ......

Only a matter of time.......:ready2go:

[walter leever]

I've never had a Volvo show my BMW the road home yet tho ......

Mine will show you the road home but i don't know where you live:haha:

[AlanG]

Mine will show you the road home but i don't know where you live:haha:

If you can get a post code you can follow mine mate...Sat Nav..:band:

[walter leever]

If you can get a post code you can follow mine mate...Sat Nav..:band:

:firedevil..............lol,bit i'll be to scared............west bank and all that.:mischievo

[skirmish998]

Had a bit of 'fun' on the m6 toll today with a renaultsport megane the 225 one in my t5. All i have done is the k and n ind kit, top mount poly'd, HD drop links and brand new fresh oil.... nowt special and at 173k miles probably not hitting the 225 bhp it should have had at factory but was absolutely all over the back of him till he moved over and we hit a clear stretch. he just couldn't keep up... unfortunately for him I had noticed the motorway womble and cop wagon up ahead and backed right off..... can anyone hear that strange two tone noise???? brightened my 6 hour drive to bonnie Jockland. not bad for 466 miles....

[walter leever]

Had a bit of 'fun' on the m6 toll today with a renaultsport megane the 225 one in my t5. All i have done is the k and n ind kit, top mount poly'd, HD drop links and brand new fresh oil.... nowt special and at 173k miles probably not hitting the 225 bhp it should have had at factory but was absolutely all over the back of him till he moved over and we hit a clear stretch. he just couldn't keep up... unfortunately for him I had noticed the motorway womble and cop wagon up ahead and backed right off..... can anyone hear that strange two tone noise???? brightened my 6 hour drive to bonnie Jockland. not bad for 466 miles....

Another one who can explain it at home:"i'm not lying baby there was a crazy one with an old volvo behind me":bullwhip:

[callyuk]

can i add to the list with the plick in a 2000 plate golf gti that thought 2 inches from my rear bumper on country roads was a safe distance and the attempting to over take on the long straight and failing before finally overtaking me in a residentail area into oncomming traffic who had to swerve to avoid him, before pulling up at the next traffic lights only to realise i was going to be along side him so held back to avoid eye contact and some verbal abuse from my side. His poor missis looked scared sh****ss.

[skirmish998]

what can I say he was not observing his surroundings in a safe and appropriate manner.... but missing a womble 4x4 and a 'MARKED' estate is his own fault..... ooops!

[walter leever]

can i add to the list with the plick in a 2000 plate golf gti that thought 2 inches from my rear bumper on country roads was a safe distance and the attempting to over take on the long straight and failing before finally overtaking me in a residentail area into oncomming traffic who had to swerve to avoid him, before pulling up at the next traffic lights only to realise i was going to be along side him so held back to avoid eye contact and some verbal abuse from my side. His poor missis looked scared sh****ss.

What you could have said is:"missus,do you like to continue your journey in a safe car?":biggrin:

And faster as that sh*tbox?

[callyuk]

think my farther in law who was in the passange seat might have said something about that lol besides he didnt have the balls to pull up next to me he just hung a cars lenght back

[walter leever]

think my farther in law who was in the passange seat might have said something about that lol besides he didnt have the balls to pull up next to me he just hung a cars lenght back

Ok,mate good point(on the other hand,if you don't try you'll never know:nut:)

Maybe he could get in the Golf and explain the traffic rules.:viking:

[AlanG]

Tell you what bud,can't tolerate these people. Arse ending you with his girl in the car? Only one word for people like him...pr**k! Would never take any chances with precious cargo. If I get the urge,as I'm sure the rest of us on here do,do it alone.

[Porcine_Aviator]

I remember on one trip to Hudds I was rolling up the M5 near the Droitwich turn, around 2 miles before it I think, when I looked up the road ahead and thought there's a plod on the little bridge overhead. So I backed off and went down to around 80 mph as I shot underneath the bridge.

Sure enough there was our friendly local tax collector earning his bosses a nice fat wad. I went a few hundred yard further and there were two poor sods on the hard shoulder getting tickets. I don't know why but I didn't put my boot down, I kept her at just over 80. About a half a mile on there were two more plods one in an unmarked gray Audi Coupe, with his little blue lights flashing. Talk about blitz, they must have paid for all the petrol for the West Mercia Force that day.

I did see something very interesting on the sea front in Weston a short time ago. The Royal Pier Hotel went up in flames and as I was driving away from the blaze a light gray Audi R8 Coupe with blue lights in the grill came flying down the road towards me.

I still can't figure out why the Police or the Fire Service need to have a car that costs the best part of £100,000.

I mean where the hell to you put the hose and the water tank?

[AlanG]

I mean where the hell to you put the hose and the water tank?[/QUOTE]

We pay for everything the collectors do...........sexual or otherwise. Expenses..

[The_Rapid_Tank]

Add a few evos and subarus pulsar to that list that have been smoked by my tank haha. U get the haha its a volvo at the lights then when u beat them there like wtf

[mikouk]

I did see something very interesting on the sea front in Weston a short time ago. The Royal Pier Hotel went up in flames and as I was driving away from the blaze a light gray Audi R8 Coupe with blue lights in the grill came flying down the road towards me.

I still can't figure out why the Police or the Fire Service need to have a car that costs the best part of £100,000.

It was probably a doctor. They sometimes use their own car.

[irf]

completely standard evo 8 fq330 and bmw z3m coupe with a remap and exhaust. Went against both four five times from to 50 to --- in the middle of the night. After they got the initial jump there was absolutely nothing in it. Have some videos against the Z3M but they'll stay private. A 450bhp rx-7 made me look like i was in reverse. A newage scooby with 350bhp (dyno dynamics), again nothing in it once moving. Went past a few porsches at the ring and been overtaken by a completely standard 1.6 civic vti bar brakes and totally stripped. Have evidence for all the above apart from the evo.

[thebadger]

It was probably a doctor. They sometimes use their own car.

Docs run on green flashing lights.

Probably a bigwig! Someone who runs the budget perhaps? :rolleyes:

[mikouk]

Docs run on green flashing lights

I thought that aswell till I saw a doc while out filming jump in his 911 and steam off with blue lights and siren going.

[thebadger]

Paramedics run blue, but I'd doubt to see one in an R8... unless he services the royals or summit! I would guess a high end plod tho. No doc would be allowed to get blue lights on something like that.

How would the other plod catch him? Helocopters?